how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
