3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
