She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
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