I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
