great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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