State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Two words: nipple clamps
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