he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
