Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Randomize
