I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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