ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize