if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
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