Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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