You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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