I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
