Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Is Oprah even human
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
