Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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