some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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