I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I love having hate sex.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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