I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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