is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
