I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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