Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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