Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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