I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
