This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
