woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Welp...herpes.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize