We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
