i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
