hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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