My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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