I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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