well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
