Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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