Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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