Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
