I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
