I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
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