How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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