He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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