I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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