he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
he fucked my hip out of place.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
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