I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Randomize