So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Randomize
