So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
