I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
It was like getting head from an anaconda
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
