Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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