At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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