You work out of a Hotel?
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Randomize
