i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
