Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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