Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
