I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
