chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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