It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
