it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
