Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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