Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
