Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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