I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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