He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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