I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
